Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Love
I am currently reading a novel right now, and I came across one para which was really interesting to me.
I am not going to quote the entire para, but essentially the para said that the driving force for all emotions in life is love.
It is love that makes us happy, sad, angry, jealous and envious. It is knowing that your loved ones love u that makes us happy. It is knowing that your loved ones leave you that makes us sad. It is knowing that your loved ones hurt u that makes us angry. It is knowing that your loved ones can live a better life without u that makes us envious.
In a nutshell, love makes one matter in this world.
It got me thinking.
I had never see life like this. I know all emotions are driven by something, some sort of action. But I never imagine that life is actually driven by love. I guess the old saying is right. Love is a powerful emotion, so powerful enough to drive all the other emotions in a person. Love is also powerful enough to drive a sane person to do completely insane things, under the excuse of love.
If there is no love, there is no one loves us. There is no one leaving us. There is no one to hurt us. There is no one that to live a better life without us.
I had always thought that being mattered by someone is the most important thing in the world. I always want the feeling that someone cares about me, asking me where am I, how am I, who am I. This shows that I am not invisible, and I left marks in someone’s life.
Yes, I always question about life these days. Maybe it has something to do with age, but I guess I am not as shallow as I seems.
In that sense, I am happy that I had experienced all sorts of emotions, because I am loved =)
And maybe, just maybe, I should explore my love for dancing again.
Cheerios.
P.S. Just a sidenote. I am finally able to move on. One of my greatest wish for more than a year has finally come true, and I couldn’t be happier =D Things are finally happening for me…
P.S.S Click here for picture link.
I am not going to quote the entire para, but essentially the para said that the driving force for all emotions in life is love.
It is love that makes us happy, sad, angry, jealous and envious. It is knowing that your loved ones love u that makes us happy. It is knowing that your loved ones leave you that makes us sad. It is knowing that your loved ones hurt u that makes us angry. It is knowing that your loved ones can live a better life without u that makes us envious.
In a nutshell, love makes one matter in this world.
It got me thinking.
I had never see life like this. I know all emotions are driven by something, some sort of action. But I never imagine that life is actually driven by love. I guess the old saying is right. Love is a powerful emotion, so powerful enough to drive all the other emotions in a person. Love is also powerful enough to drive a sane person to do completely insane things, under the excuse of love.
If there is no love, there is no one loves us. There is no one leaving us. There is no one to hurt us. There is no one that to live a better life without us.
I had always thought that being mattered by someone is the most important thing in the world. I always want the feeling that someone cares about me, asking me where am I, how am I, who am I. This shows that I am not invisible, and I left marks in someone’s life.
Yes, I always question about life these days. Maybe it has something to do with age, but I guess I am not as shallow as I seems.
In that sense, I am happy that I had experienced all sorts of emotions, because I am loved =)
And maybe, just maybe, I should explore my love for dancing again.
Cheerios.
P.S. Just a sidenote. I am finally able to move on. One of my greatest wish for more than a year has finally come true, and I couldn’t be happier =D Things are finally happening for me…
P.S.S Click here for picture link.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Reflection
I am having one of those days in which I am reflecting on my life now. It is one of those emo days for me.
This is going to be a wordy post.
I guess these days, I always think back and wonder how did I end up the way I am now. I suddenly remembered during this period of time, 11 years ago, I almost lost my mother. My mother was in the hospital during CNY 11 years ago, and till this day, I know that it is one of those unforgettable CNY my family had.
I was young then and did not really understand the impact of losing a mother. It was one of my most rebellious period, if you ever consider me as ever rebellious. I wasn't interested in school, I copied my maths homework and basically rarely studied. At that time, I was more interested in fighting cold wars with friends, trying to win over people that did not matter at all and of course surfing the internet. I was basically more involved with myself than her.
However, after a few years, I found out that my mother had laid out all the instructions for me in case anything did happen. She told my 2 aunts to keep a lookout and take care of me, she arranged all the finances for me and of course, put up a strong front that she was fine when she wasn't.
This really touches me. I guess when I was older, I understood having my parents to support me and finally realised the impact that incident had on my life. Linda is always asking me how come I always listen to my mum and let her win in certain arguments. I guess deep down, I know that she has my best interests in heart and everything she does, she does them for me =)
After this incident, I became an onion. It means that I guard against people, so that I won't get hurt. And not getting hurt means being strong for yourself and for other people who matter.
And since I was asked this question before, I would say that I would place my parents first, before my partner. And if my partner understood me (and love me =D), he will never ask me to choose between him and them =)
Besides my past, I was pondering about myself. I am feeling so stagnant to the point that I felt that I am wasting my life away. I am seriously not moving. Sometimes, I avoided going on FB to look at other people's updates on their lives because it seems like they are moving forward but I am not. I wanted so many things in life to the point that I don't know what do I really want.
I shouldn't be saying this now actually. I am going on 25 this year, which is a quarter of a century. I may not have any responsibilities right now, but I ought to know. I should know.
I guess I am also frustrated with myself. Up until today, things are always within my control. I can fix anything that went wrong, because it is within my control. But I can't control the problems I am facing now. I can only wish and pray that things will happen, but other than that, I don't know what to do.
It would be better off for me to take life simply and less hard. But I can't do it, because it is not in my nature to do so. I am not used to face things that I can't control.
Is life meant to be so hard?
What am I doing with my life actually? Is it meaningful? Does it leave any impact on anyone in particular? Do I matter?
These are all the questions I have in my mind all day. Seriously, sometimes I still think that I am lost, screwed up and not perfect.
There are more emo feelings and thoughts I have, but I think this post is heavy enough. Maybe next time.
And I will blog about my trip.
Cheerios.
This is going to be a wordy post.
I guess these days, I always think back and wonder how did I end up the way I am now. I suddenly remembered during this period of time, 11 years ago, I almost lost my mother. My mother was in the hospital during CNY 11 years ago, and till this day, I know that it is one of those unforgettable CNY my family had.
I was young then and did not really understand the impact of losing a mother. It was one of my most rebellious period, if you ever consider me as ever rebellious. I wasn't interested in school, I copied my maths homework and basically rarely studied. At that time, I was more interested in fighting cold wars with friends, trying to win over people that did not matter at all and of course surfing the internet. I was basically more involved with myself than her.
However, after a few years, I found out that my mother had laid out all the instructions for me in case anything did happen. She told my 2 aunts to keep a lookout and take care of me, she arranged all the finances for me and of course, put up a strong front that she was fine when she wasn't.
This really touches me. I guess when I was older, I understood having my parents to support me and finally realised the impact that incident had on my life. Linda is always asking me how come I always listen to my mum and let her win in certain arguments. I guess deep down, I know that she has my best interests in heart and everything she does, she does them for me =)
After this incident, I became an onion. It means that I guard against people, so that I won't get hurt. And not getting hurt means being strong for yourself and for other people who matter.
And since I was asked this question before, I would say that I would place my parents first, before my partner. And if my partner understood me (and love me =D), he will never ask me to choose between him and them =)
Besides my past, I was pondering about myself. I am feeling so stagnant to the point that I felt that I am wasting my life away. I am seriously not moving. Sometimes, I avoided going on FB to look at other people's updates on their lives because it seems like they are moving forward but I am not. I wanted so many things in life to the point that I don't know what do I really want.
I shouldn't be saying this now actually. I am going on 25 this year, which is a quarter of a century. I may not have any responsibilities right now, but I ought to know. I should know.
I guess I am also frustrated with myself. Up until today, things are always within my control. I can fix anything that went wrong, because it is within my control. But I can't control the problems I am facing now. I can only wish and pray that things will happen, but other than that, I don't know what to do.
It would be better off for me to take life simply and less hard. But I can't do it, because it is not in my nature to do so. I am not used to face things that I can't control.
Is life meant to be so hard?
What am I doing with my life actually? Is it meaningful? Does it leave any impact on anyone in particular? Do I matter?
These are all the questions I have in my mind all day. Seriously, sometimes I still think that I am lost, screwed up and not perfect.
There are more emo feelings and thoughts I have, but I think this post is heavy enough. Maybe next time.
And I will blog about my trip.
Cheerios.
