Frustruation.

Why does it have to be so hard? It's so troublesome, so tiring, so tedious. We are new to it, and yet we are in a big ocean trying to swim our way through among. It's no wonder we got lost among all the fishes.

Should we have called for help? Perhaps we should. At least maybe things won't have turned out that way. But how to call for help when we are afraid calling out loud lure the sharks to our way?

Should we have been more 'on the job'? Perhaps we should. But how much more should be 'on it'? Or maybe it is just a level of expectation that is too high to be reached by us/me.

ENVY

The other evil force in life. One thing that should not be invented among all the sins eg lust, pride, greed, anger....

I looked around me, and I started to wonder, why am I not like them? Why is it that people can travel all over the world, but I am tied with responsibilities right here in Singapore?

Why is it that people can live a better life than me?

Why is it that some people are born in a richer family than me?

Why is it that some people can chase their dreams, while I have to keep my feet firmly on the ground, knowing that because of who I am and what I have to do, I can't chase them?

Why is it that some people can let go of their heart easily, but I still guard mine so fiercely?

Today the new guy told me something that brought me right up to the sky and down crashing to the earth at the same time. As much as I envy, I realised that I am not as lucky and could never be.

I feel around me, and I wondered, why am I not as lucky as them? Why are things not happening to me?

Should I be actively seeking them instead?

Longing

Realised a long time ago that I wish to spread my wings and fly out of here, out of my life, out of Singapore.

Sorry, I am being very anti-govt. But in my heart, I somehow know that my life doesn't lies in here. My second life of my life should be lying somewhere elsewhere. It is somewhere out there for me. But with all the things (ie responsibilities) here in Singapore, am I able to leave?

But one thing for sure, if I am able to, I will grab the first chance that enables me to fulfill my longing.

I am just in a moody/thoughtful/ depressing/ life-assessing/ saddening mood.

Don't worry, I am normally happy and content with my life. I have parents who absolutely dotes me, spoils me and have never put any pressure on me. I have many friends who I know I can count on when I am in trouble... and these are the friends that I foresee will accompany throughout my lifetime. I am not starving, not in poverty, not crippled, not entirely stupid. I am already fortunate in a way. Yet today is one of the days that I wish my life has something more, something different...

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Anyway, Linda went to HK already this morning, and I wondered how she's doing. Haha... Nic and Weiwei almost died on their first day in Korea so I was wondering how she's coping.. Haha.. not that I don't have the confidence in her but I was thinking she may be dying there on her first day too..

Anyway, I have a shopping list for myself.

1. New camera

2. New mp3 player

3. HK trip

Save save save save... it's the motto for me this second half of the year...

He is the only one who is either keeping me sane or insane all the time... Sighz...

And this song is worsening my mood right now but it's a damn nice song la... Yi Jie wrote it and I love the lyrics... lOL... It's called 失乐园 (Shi Le Yuan)

Cheerios. My life is utterly miserable right now...

I'm just too tired to say anything right now because I was so tired... went out for K-box today. Yesterday went out to Orchard with Carisse and Linda... Haven't even do my work la. Sighz.

Anyway, this video is for Juliana. Her fave Grasshopper song is Ban Dian Xin （半点心）(Pum Diam Sum for Cantonese) and I happened to have the video from the concert... so this is for u girl!! But it is in Cantonese... so u go and find ur own lyrics ok?

I also bought the Cantonese compliation!! Finally!! Was waiting for my pay to come in and I went straight to buy it!! Without hesitation! It was on sale anyway!! And this new song on my blog is the cantonese version of the chinese 一路顺风 (Yi Lu Shu Feng) called 红唇的吻 (Hong Chun De Wen).. and seriously, I think the lyrics of this cantonese version is better than the chinese version. So enjoy.

I better go. Got to work tml. Sighz. Today was so much fun.

Cheerios.

Having imagination is a good thing. I like to imagine once a while on something that I know is impossible.

Especially today when my day had not went exactly well. It's frustrating to know that you are not exactly wrong but yet you can't tell the person.

Felt first-hand what it feels like to be 有口难开。。。

Anyway, I want:

• To live in songs such as Iris and Huan Zhu Ge Ge's Meng Li (梦里) Be sweet in love forever.
• To live in great movies such as The Lake House, Pride and Prejudice, City Of Angels... The guys in there are too perfect.
• To live in the Qing Dynasty so that I can meet someone like Fu Er Kang in Huan Zhu Ge Ge. Or let me be the Ziwei.
• To have guys such as Mr Darcy, Fu Er Kang and other great male characters that captivated me in their lovey dovey ways.

Don't get me wrong, I am not desperate for love. I am just thinking how nice it would be if I am living in those fictional stories and shows. Be it that there are sufferings, I know that it will all ended up well.

Sighz, Linda always hinted that fairy tale doesn't happen in reality. I guess all my hopes of having such a life straight out of these fictional stories are lower than zlich.

I am re-watching Huan Zhu Ge Ge 2 thanks to jul... and strangely though I know the story already, I am so captivated by it. And the songs... I really love 梦里. Up to today, I think Qiong Yao is a great romance writer. I love all the stories that had been filmed into drama series. I am a romance reader, and rarely read chinese books. I think she is probably one of the only chinese writer that I know and like...

Cheerios

I know, when I am in a craze, everyone around me all screwed cos all I can talk about is my craze. Yes, it's Grasshopper craze right now... lol... and I am trying to learn cantonese which is not going so well...

Anyway, I was searching on YouTube for more Grasshopper's video and I found this really hilarious video!! It's damn long ago, and the best thing is, there is Aaron Kwok Guo Fu Cheng!! They were performing together and dancing to each other's songs... and for some reason, I kept laughing at Aaron Kwok!! He was singing 对你爱爱爱不完!!! Haha... Have a look then!!

My office problem is not getting any better... sighz.

Cheerios.

I am so lazy... after I started work I am so lazy to blog. Haiz...

Work has been okay. Sometimes it's so slack that it's crazy, sometimes it's so packed that it's crazy too. Learnt some important stuff which will be important no matter what major I am choosing. Lunch had been amazing too. It has been fun, and the company has been great too. Sometimes about 5 people going for lunch, sometimes it may expand to 9 people. Always go to the rec club after lunch to play table soccer. That was a manic, but it's good to 'work some calories off'... lol... Laughed so much during the 'match'. And I am getting better at it too... LOL. Work buddy has been nice too. It's nice to talk about some things in our lives, esp our school life. NTU and NUS are really different. It's nice to hear the thigns happening at the other campus. Freaky things happened now and then, but it has been more worth it with these people around.

Bought 2 pairs of shoes and a long top. Spent so much money during the wkend that I am guilty. This is one of the mths that I spent A LOT. Already spent close to $300 on Grasshoppers. The other misc stuff... I don't even dare to count. Already bought a new bag and a top before this wkend. Haiz... But having nice things is fun. LOL...

Btw, Jul, I didn't buy the C&K shoes. 35 is too small, and 36 is too big.

I am thinking of buying the cantonese version of Grasshopper's collection... yes yes I know I am crazy but I just feel like buying. Shall buy it after I get my pay, which I hope it's soon. Put a new song on the blog again. This is a new cantonese song from them (called 将军令）, which means I think not many people know of this song.... hope everyone enjoys it. (By the way, I have to upload the song on my own because I can't find it on imeen... so this song is in my collection!! It's in my dvd collection that I bought after that concert...)

Btw, the videos I posted here is a variety show that Grasshoppers attended in HK... it's in cantonese but there is chinese subtitles. It cracks me up so much, that I think it's worth showing. LOL... hope everyone has as much fun as I do. Take note of Cai Yi Jie's comment at 6.45 in the second video... it's hilarious!!

Ok.. shall go and watch ugly betty. Hope to see everyone soon.

Btw, Maroon 5's new album sounds awesome!!

Cheerios.