Is it wrong to want to feel part of a group? As I learnt from sociology, human beings thrive living in groups. We exists in groups, not loners. So, is it that wrong to want to feel part of a group?

Politics Politics...it's so hard to juggle sometimes. And it gets tiring.

*I am sorry to one of my friend. It wasn't meant for things to turn out this way...n u being in the centre of it.

I am disappointed right from the beginning. And I wondered, am I supposed to take the hint?

But still...

I was not disappointed at the last min. It all turns out good.

Oh well. What can I say??

Cya guys ard.

A Strange twist of events. I am going back to work!!! I am going back to work for the company that I just left...

No world cup...I have to wake up early for matches again...but for another week only la. Have to earn money.

And to think that Adeline is now at Germany!!! She left today...Going to watch the Argentina vs Germany match!!! And the 1st semi-final!!! Which might involve England...so sucky. I wish I am her right now...at Germany. She promise me that she will buy me something world cup-y....and bring back germany frozen sausages. And a picture of her at a match or something...arghz...

In short, I wish I am in Germany with her...

I think I have a lot of explaining to do tml....dreading it...

Better go now. Prepare to work tml. Cya guys soon..

Cheerios.

Posting of some pictures that should be posted here some time ago... after my angry outburst.

1st thing first. Pictures of my last day (really my last day) of work...



Me and Jeslyn...poor her...work alone now. Me and Sulaiman. He is v cute...and it was his last day too. I always think he looks like a kid's version of a pumpkin.



Me alone in the lounge with all the basketball thingys...and me with ashley. Honestly, the lounge is the best place to take picture and the best place in the co. (=



Me and JJ...and the whole crowd. So cute ar us...

Went to Orchard to hand in timesheets...and meet Lyn to return the Dan Brown novel. Took a picture too. But I was tired n half-dead alr...so tired. My eyes looks like it is staring into space...



*************JJ Lin's Autograph session*************

I honestly tell u, I have no idea what I was doing there. Probably for the opportunity to see my fren like cher and yiwen. It was no fun to be at this kind of sessions....cos it is normally hot, crowded, stuffy...plus u sweat like hell and u will stink like crazy. But for my frens....aiya anything la. Took a few pictures cos I got a camera with me.....Then I saw Nick. Nick bought like 3 of his cds for his friends...and since only each one of us can only take 1 thing to give him to sign he asked yiwen and I to help him and take it up to him and sign...





I honestly have no idea what I was doing there u noe... and I kept saying that during the queue. Which was crazy and no system and messy. He shook his hand with me...and he sticks out the wrong hand (the left hand) so there was a little confusion. He was nice enough to change to his right hand so that he can shake with me...this is kinda funny. Hmm, but after I shook his hand I still feel nothing...unlike the time when I met BLUE...that was magical.

Oh well, there are a couple of pictures with yiwen...some group photos. Met Yuxin and joyce too at that session...lol. Will post the pictures when I get them...

But there are a couple more photos taken by my phone at Hog's breathe...



I absolutely loves the picture with me and nicole...it is so sweet. And some people say we look alike... And next is me with a bikini pig.

Hahahaha...right now, continuing to nua(rot) at home...

Cya guys soon.

Cheerios.

I sometimes wonder, am I paranoid? What is the line of feeling too sensitive? Am I too sensitive?

For that reason, I tolerate all the shit thrown in my face till I can't take it. Then everything burst.

Then I ask myself again, am I too stupid? Kenna bullied also dunno? Should I even say something beforehand?

Walid once said that I was too sensitive and I was totally thrown off-course. I dont blame him, I never did. I think he just said it out for fun, for the sake of teasing me. Somemore given the circumstances...I dont think he meant it the way it sounds. I took it as a passing comment. But I am ultra-sensitive when people say I sensitive. I start to wonder, am I not tolerating enough shit? Where is the line?

I dislike it when I was treated unimportant. Or at least, if I put this person as 100% important, I expect the person to put me as 100% important. Ok, cut people some slack. If I know the person KNOWS that I put him/her 100% important, I expect him/her to put me 100% as well. Yes, the rule of reciprocal. Ok, I am super sensitive now. But isn't this what everyone wants? To be treated the same way we treat them?

I said about this before, and I said this again. When it comes to organising outings, everyone need to be careful. No one loves the idea of kenna left out (no worries, it is not me YET). Certain times maybe it is okay to be left out. But when the circumstances twirked and turned, it is a different story. When it happens more than once, it gets too much. I am saying this here, because I am already bursting about this and I know I have to get it out. But I am sure that I am trying to save some 'face' again. Whether the person reads this or not and realise that I am talking about him/her, it is up to fate.

I sound super emotional right? But I dont think so. You can joke ard me and the jokes will just bounces off me like a ping pong ball. But I am kinda sticky about my principle of reciprocal. Perhaps I should try to relax that rule of mine a little...

.......I dont even know whether today I should sign off as cheerios anot.....

This is going to be one spiteful long angry entry.

I may be speaking in riddles in this entry, but that is because I am trying to give some people "face" here even though I dont think they are reading this. Don't expect to understand.

I believe in what I believe. Xy would have told u I stick to my principles and beliefs.

I basically follows this: Treat that person the way u wan him/her to treat u. No point expecting more right? If the treatment is lesser or lower that expected, chuck the person out of ur life. That person is just plain sucky.

Backstabbers and hypocities are in this category.

Don't get me wrong, I had not met anyone of them recently. At least I don't think so. Maybe a couple...but I have not know them long enough to know whether they are a full-blow backstabbers or hypocities.

But the office politics are heating up.

Mango said that she is looking for mncs for perms because of the politics. But I dont see how bigger co have better politics. My co cant be considered as small. My previous job b4 uni was a smaller co than my latest co but the place is not half as bad. In fact, I think that when there are lesser people to deal with, the politics are less harsh! I would just wan to look for a place whereby there are like-minded people ard.

Ok, enough of riddles. It's now open talk.

About me. I am a hard person to understand, as far as I know. I open my heart easily, as long as I feel sincerity and I feel that I can trust the person. The problem with me is that I am guilable. I trust people too easily.

I said right before at the beginning of these post that, I give people the same kind of treatment they had given me. If I honestly like the person, he/she would know. If I don't, the nice-ness will only come on the surface.

I always gives the wrong impression to people. Crazy, talkative, immature, naive, not serious, happy-go-lucky, whatever. But I am here to say, most of the impressions are WRONG. I repeat, WRONG. How many times have I not been serious? Yes perhaps in jokes, but not anything else. How many times had I defy my parents of not going to polys? I insist of going to a JC for the purpose of completing my education early. I still persist after I did really badly for 1st yr even though I have thought of it. I worked my ass off to get an A1 in higher chinese during my O levels (adeline knows that) when I finally set my heart to continue with it after I did badly for my express chinese. I worked my ass off too for both of my maths when I was a utter failure of it in sec3 ( I got e8 and d7). I ended up with 2 A2s at O levels. I know I sound like bragging, but I am not. I am serious in my goals. I am sick and tired of people saying me that I am not serious because I am not. People never understand that, the only time I was not serious, if when I am having a blast or when I am joking. I was never not serious about my life.

There are others too, like immature, naive, talkative....pls...people for gdness sake, come on.

I always gives the utter wrongly impressions to people. I am not tt superfical. I hate it. I spent some part of my life trying to please people when I realise that I can't. I got tired of it. And now I live by my own rules. And now I know too. Don't judge a person too early. First impressions are always wrong.

And I despises people who put others down. It just proves how insecure they are about themselves to put others down in order to put themselves in better light.

I kinda see myself in a couple of people I had worked with, and thus I promised myself right now that, I will try to change.

I have pictures to post, but I will probably do it later. This post is getting too long.

Cheerios.

Brace yourselves people. I am typing a super long entry.

I think back about my last few days, and I can laugh. What a turn of events. Came to work on fri, expecting that was my last day. Dressed nicer than usual. Bought some chocolates for people that I am leaving behind. Trying to think about the feeling of not walking down the same corridor to my dept. Most employees in that dept thought it was my last day too. Jeslyn was like, "Whoa. You wear very nice today har?" I smiled. Walked into my manager's office and held out timesheets to sign. Had to be signed that day because there was no other chance. Asked about my future plans. Told her that I haven't exactly found a job yet. Planning to search next week. Meanwhile stayed at home. Told me that she will get back to me while she made some calls. Expected perhaps another temp position in the same company but probably in a diff dept. In my wildest dreams, she dropped a bombshell on me. CONTRACT EXTEND FOR ANOTHER WEEK. I was like "Huh? Are you pulling my leg?" Hell no. So yeah, my last day will be next fri. To think that I told quite a number of people that last fri was my last day. Comical. I can imagine some people's reactions when they see my back to work on Mon. "Eh? I thought last fri your last day? Why u back??" LOL... I have a lot of explaining to do.

Have dinner at the staff's lounge on 9th floor. Brought a camera with the tot of taking pictures for my last day. What the hell. Take pictures anyway at any occasion. This is Jeslyn, my new colleague who sits in front of me. Our desks are kinda isolated from the rest of the colleagues...








She looked half dead because she was tired...and I can't blame her. She was very busy with recruiting the mango sales assistants these few days...











Went to give off my shavers as a gift to those guys...Because I dun want to bring them home. I have enough things on me already and I was going out.


This is Walid..The babe and the old man. He always ALWAYS teases me...irritating. But he is nice la...endure my countless stupid cold crappy lames jokes...He sometimes tries to trick me but I am too fast for him...LOL. I have to wrestle him to take a picture with me. He din want to smile at first, but I screamed at him to do so. (= His eyes were like v tired, but I ASKED him to look gd.

He must be afraid that I will draw boobs on him ( I said I will do so if I posted it on my blog), so he folded his arms..lol.

Aiya, counting on the fact that he will treat me to fish n co and a movie one day plus he lets me use his staff discount for my trackpants, I let him go. Post his picture without any "disfigurations.."

I wasn't entirely ready when the picture was taken. That
explains my foot.






This is Qamal...I secretly called him the pumpkin guy because he really reminds me of a pumpkin!!! He is really funny and cute...Dances to music whenever something nice comes on the radio. But his dancing only involves shaking his butt.... nevertheless it was hilarous.

And the most important thing is, he is nicer than Walid. LOL.

Ok la. Both of them are nice.

But I don't understand why both of them had to fold their arms.















Oh ya. I gave him shavers because Qamal said before that he is hairy. Gave shavers to Walid because his beard is getting ruddy...


Took a picture of the backdrop of the lift...because I absolutely loves this picture. Haven got the chance to take the other lift's backdrop...










After work went off to meet Nicole. Have dinner at Crystal jade after considering so many places...have nice congree. So fun. Took pictures there too till they closed...



The chinese tea...and a date from nicole's dessert. That's her finger too...so extra..



Nicole and I at crystal jade, nicole exposed!!!

and my back view. LOL.

We couldnt do anymore shopping after crystal jade, because all the shops were closed!!! But both of us went to try uZap...super funny...Got us laughing like nuts...Then both of us felt like drinking, so the best location we can think of tt sells alcohol is 7-11. Duh...but hey!!! Don't ever go to 7-11 at Citylink during late hrs ok!!! The 7-11 there CLOSES!!!! Have u ever heard of 7-11 closing?? Nope!!! Only at Citylink!!! So what we do?? Went back to Tampines' 7-11 to drink...then we got too high...

Nicole with uZap, both of us on train



And both of us with wine.. and nicole with alcohol.

*********************************************************************************
SAT

Meet Nicole again, this time for the open class for girl's hip hop and signing up. We were super late!!! 5.30 then reached there when the class starts at 5pm. )= Cannot enter the class lo. Stand outside to watch. Nicole's friend Serene came to meet us, and all 3 of us signed up. Then we went to change into nicer clothes and go out for dinner. Nicole took FOREVER to get ready...

And we went to Chjimes, Hog's breath. Meet Nicole's another friend Michelle and Serene's friend Hanse (assume his name is spelled like that...) Learnt later tt he joined the Superband thingy...went to top 12 I think. Aiya, I dont know la. U guys know I dun watch this kind of shows...

Have lotsa pictures taken too.



Michelle, Nicole, Me, and Serene....and Nicole tried to strangle me!!!

That day was really fun. We joked around like nuts.

Oh ya. Hanse broke a fan's string...those kind that on the ceiling fan. He broke it. Hahaha..next time whenever u see a broken fan's string in Hog's breath u know who did it...Hahaha...

SO tired today. Have to rest.

I better go off. Cya guys.

Cheerios.

Not going to be here for long.

Bought some chocolates for my colleagues to give them tml. And bought 3 packs of shavers to give to pumpkin qamal, walid babe and uncle. The story tml...

Will take photos tml...hoping can take pictures with the guys because underneath all the bullying I have some fun. And definitely will take pictures with my dept ppl. Esp the new lady jeslyn. We are actually kinda close given tt we only know each other 4 days...we even exchange msn email and my blog address. Jes, if u are reading this right now, HI!!!!

Will I miss RSH? Probably. But most of all I miss the money tt comes with it...lol.

Hope I have a great last day tml. Hope I wun cry. Hope I will laugh my day through.

I am living my last day out.

Cheerios.

Normally, at this point of time for the past 3 weeks, I will say my contract extend.

But this time, my contact did not extend. At least, I did not hear a word from my manager. But still, I know tt this is my last wk on Mon. A new lady came, a perm, and my colleague told me to teach my 'craft' to her before I leave. Hmm...hint hint? Anyway, I got the idea already. So yeah, this is my last wk.

I kinda bu she de (can't bear to leave), but still I know that one day I will have to leave. Even if my contract extend to the end, I still have to leave for studies. Also, my 2 wks assignment became a 5 wks assignment. I got to earn 3 wks more of money. This workplace had been sucky, awful, irritating, and yet fun and nice at the same time. Strange thing is that I felt that my most fun time came from the MARCOM dept instead of my HR dept ( I only spent a few hrs in tt dept for a few days). And strange thing to say tt I will definitely miss the MARCOM ppl A LITTLE BIT...They had been nice to me. Very nice. Will have to drop by on fri to tt dept to drop a word of thanks definitely...

So yeah, after this fri I am a free man again. No work, no job, no money. But I am still counting on Xiaoyang's treat. Along with Walid's...hahaha. I am not worried about xy cos I know he will treat me. But Walid's...I think in the end I have to force his hand...

Can watch world cup..can watch everything...

Got another job offer already for 1 wk but I don't know whether I can get it or not. Hmm...shall wait and see.

Anyway, the position for mango sales assistant is still avaliable. Can bring ur friends along to do. If anyone interested, msg/call/email me.

And if anyone got lobang for jobs pls call me. Thanks.

Cheerios.

his is something I always wanted to say. People, please take care of what u are saying when u are teasing someone. There is a thin line between insults and jokes. Joke too much, it becomes an insult to the poor guy. Don't go overboard. You are hearing from the horse's mouth so I am definitely gd enough to tell u abt this.

I always tries to keep my jokes in check. I will stop once I realise that I had gone too far but sometimes unintentionally I do step over that line without knowing. But at least I tried. I had met people who can't keep their mouths shut and can't keep count of the "jokes" they made. And in the end who gets the butt of the "jokes"? So please guys, be careful with what u say.

There is always a limit and a thin line for everything. Tolerance, patience etc. Openness too. Sometimes the question is not how, it is to what extent. Eg, I can be a very open person, but the question often relies on open to what and to which degree. We have to realise that every action we put out affects how the other person feels.

Also, being disrespectful and teasing. We need to take note of them. How many times have we taken granted that the person taking in all of these doesn't mind no matter how nice the person is? We need to start to treasure the people ard us and starting to care how they feel is a start.

I always think that the person doing all the insulting, disrespecting etc to someone without even thinking doesn't care.

Just don't step over that thin line (= And let us be like them...

from : http://www.myspacegraphicsandanimations.com/myspace-graphics.htm

Cheerios.

h man..I am going to go crazy on my blog with world cup. First is winter olympics, now world cup...going crazy!!!

Ok, germany won over costa rica!! 4-2!!! The important thing for me is, Miroslav Klose scored 2 goals in tt match!!! I noticed him in 2002 world cup!!! He was fab then. He is fab now!!! Also he is damn handsome...I remembered my classmate Joanna used to say tt she tot he was from some kind of boyband when I 1st showed her his picture..anyway I think it would be a gd match to watch if I was not so tired...

**courtesy from http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/**courtesy of miroslav klose's yahoo group.

England won 1-0 over Paraguay!!! It's not a huge scoreline but whatever!!! 3 points in the pocket 1st!!! No doubt it was an own goal but Beck's free kick was fab...hahaha...And poor peter crouch in that match. Poor him. Always kenna from referee. LOL.

**courtesy from http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/

The Sweden vs Trinidad and Tobago is super frustrating...I dun even want to talk about it.
**courtesy from http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/

I am feeling like him now...

Looking for to the Netherlands match because I like them...

Cheerios. Will post soon.

I am just here to say a little update becos I need to head to bed soon. My last day again changed to next fri...this is my 3rd extension of my contract. I have no idea what is going on except that I will be earning money for another wk. (=

It's strange. I sometimes really do nothing there and stare at the computer screen...trust me it's painful to do tt. I rather have work. My previous 2 jobs made me realise that I really had to earn my dough to get the dough but this job seems a little different. I have no idea what is on my manager's mind.

I had a freaky and disgusting experience last night in which I am still debating whether I should post tt experience online . I fear that the person related to this experience will read my blog. It is totally disgusting, insulting and gross. It kinda kept me up the whole night last night. Shall decide soon.

And xiaoyang, if u are reading this (which u will probably wun), thanks for ur help last night at the expense of ur sleep. (=

Lyn offered me an accounts assistant job at Tanjong Pagar today but I already promised my manager and my agent that I will work at my current company for another wk. Can't exactly go back on my word...But it's okay la. This company that I am working for is quite famous and thus maybe the next time when I am looking for jobs my resume will look better.

Gave a new nickname to Walid...BABE...so funny. I don't think he knows what the real meaning is. Maybe he thought that I am calling him the "pretty girl" babe...but it is definitely not what I meant. Will elaborate soon.

Addie is going with her father to germany to watch the world cup quarter and semi finals!!! Disgusting and sucks!!! I hate u adeline!!!

I am heading to bed now. Cya guys soon.

Cheerios.

SO TIRED...after watching the movie yesterday, I was so tired that I felt like I was ran over by a bus but just survived...

Meet Linda the Mango at dinner time for Dan Brown's Digital fortress book and dinner...so long nv see her already. She lives the other side of the island so it is pretty impossible to see her outside school time unless we planned it. Anyway, went shopping for a while but I am happy to say that I spent v little as compared to her. She bought a new DKNY watch!!! So now both of us are DKNY watch owners...and now she has this LITTLE fetish about watches...like me. Haha...went shopping for watches even after she bought a new one. I think I like Gucci watches but I nv got the chance to see clearly because the shop already closed but I think if I want to buy another watch, I will probably buy a Gucci one.

Bought other things as well...and I think next time if I want to go shopping I better ask her along. She is pretty much EXPERT in everything..gives u opinions on almost everything u can possibly buy. Like macasra (thanks for the help Lyn!!) and other stuff...haha. And since I am such a shopping bitch (I always cant decide whether I should buy or not becos I always worry whether I made the right decision), it helps to have an expert ard. But today I have to practically DRAG her away from the Guess bags' sale becos she found out that she paid too much for the same bag...argh. When I say drag I really meant DRAG...

We took pictures too, but it is still with her. Will get it from her soon.

Argh. Tired. So much things I want to say but I guess I will leave it the next time.

Oh ya, Lyn tot that I am crazy about the bolester thing...)=

Cheerios.

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am like these people man....I had already planned what I wanted to say on a bus on my way home, and now I forgot everything. Damn Damn!! What is wrong with me??

There is no new stupid lunch talk today because I ate with my dept people...which is kinda refreshing...but I kinda miss the lame talk too. (=

My 2 weeks work has become a 1 mth work...and I dont think my contract will extend anymore. I just found out today that there is a new staff joining us soon...and there is all I know. If there is a new staff, I will be redundant right? But something doesnt click. If that staff is to replace me, then why hire her so early? Why not wait till my contract end? It is not too far away...and they cant break their word about extending my contract. Maybe I am too sensitive. The staff may be long overdued. Also, there is a pregnant lady who is already 7 mths along. The new staff could be someone to help her. I dont know...but I kinda wish my work will extend longer because I am simply so lazy to wait and go for interviews and search for jobs anymore. It's tiring. Sure, starting to work from hols mood is a pain in the ass, but I had gotten used to it. I need the money for Beijing and Vancover!!! (adeline added another destination for me, which is South Africa for 2010's world cup...) I need to work for all these future trips.

Hmm, tired. I need to be awake for tml's Over the Hedge movie..so I guess this post is a short one. Going to sleep now...

Cheerios guys.