The matter that I was talking about has turn a bout worse... I don't know how to solve this problem at all. Of course, if I totally compromise, everyone else except me will be happy. Does this seems right? Does this seems, as I said a lot these days, fair? Is this what it should be?

This makes me wonder, should I hold my ground for the first time? I normally will take a step back because I always think that I am the one who makes the matters worse, but then again, maybe it is time to place faith in myself and believe that I should stand up for myself, as what Irene always did.

I wish I had never grown up, because being a grown up means unnecessary troubles, which eats up my mind, soul and time.

Sometimes I look at other people's blogs and wonder, when can I ever write like them. They sound intelligent and mature in their blogs. Compared to them, my blog sound immature and superficial. It makes me wonder, whether I had totally missed the big picture many a times. With this issue, whether I had been totally immature.

Sighz. This issue has been on mind constantly...

And to make matters worse, my favourite tennis player ANDY RODDICK IS OUT OF AUSTRALIA OPEN.... at third round somemore. I missed this match because I was busy with installing my new printer software and setting it up. And busy brooding over my issues. And also I thought that at third round, he has no problem of getting through the match and I shall see him play again. But nnnnnnnnooooooo.... he is out! Not his fault though because he served 42 aces (42!!! Who serves 42 aces in a match!!! Career best sia) and had (I think) 3 double faults but apparently the opponent had 104 winners... Ah.... have to wait till French open before seeing him play in a grand slam again...

But then again, Federer (a world no 1 player) had to play to the fifth set today (the sun really has risen from the west today), playing for 4 1/2 hr to beat a 49th ranked player (!!! The only time I saw him playing to 5 sets was opposide Nadal). This is always fun. To watch Federer being HUMAN and not SUPERPLAYER for a match... and Lleyton Hewitt win a great match (I think there are 9 deuces at 4th set) 4.30am Aust time (apparently the latest at a grand slam event) was awesome.

Ok, I will be supporting Justine Henin!! I like her playing style a lot... and to a certain extent, supporting Maria Sharapova and Jelena Jankovic as well =)

Ok, I am boring a LOT of people who do not follow tennis. Or don't know tennis teminology.

Well, on a happy note, I finally bought a new printer. Because my mum hoped that I can buy one with a fax machine, I bought a all-in-one with fax at $188. Bought back the same brand as my previous printer, which is brother because it is still the cheapest out of many brands. I also extended my warranty so it turned out to be $200+. Sighz.... I have to pay for it myself. But the printer was very heavy!! Thank goodness Yun Ting was with me to help me. I was even thinking of taking a bus home with it I realised that it is simply impossible!!

But Yun Ting kept telling me that I should buy a laser printer.... I know it's better but at the moment I need colour and black printing and I can't afford to buy 2 now...


**The picture is not my actual model but it's close...**

And there is one matter that, if goes my way, will make me really happy. But there's another matter that makes me a little confused and don't know what to do if it further develops... Sighz

And I heard this song again today on MTVsea. This song always touches me, because of the lyrics and how close it is descibing my thoughts at times. I am sure it also describes some of u girls' thoughts too...

Saving Jane - Girl Next Door
Small town homecoming queen
She's the star in this scene
Theres no way to deny she's lovely
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside shes ugly

Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutaunt
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding

Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
She's Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

Oh and I'm just the girl next door

I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishin that I was someone else

She is the prom queen I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
I get A little bit she gets a little more
She's Miss America and... she's Miss America
I'm just the girl next door...

The girl next door is always neglected at work, at school, in love, in everywhere. Who notices the girl next door? The girl without the perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect body but with character as good as the perfect girl?

NO ONE.

Oh well. Sometimes I wish the world is just not so complicated =(