Tuesday, May 01, 2007
I don't like empty promises and more
I don't understand, how can u make such promises to me without fulfilling them? U make me believe all of it is true again and again. But instead, u disappointed me time and time again.
I don't understand. Why are u treating me this way? What have I done wrong? What's wrong with me? It's obvious that u are lying to me. So why are u lying to me? I rather u tell me the truth, that u don't want to be alone with me.
Don't give me empty promises. Don't let me do all the work and fill with hope just to be disappointed by u. Don't cook up some grandmother story just to get out of I asked u. If u are not willing, tell me. I would rather that. It's obvious that u are lying. That was bad lying. Unless u have a reason for what u do, don't try explaining to me.
I don't even know when u show ur concern to me, u are trying to make up ur mistake or really concerned about me.
Heck it, u are not reading this anyway. U don't care that much about me to read what I had got to say.
Everyone listen up. Lie to me all u want, but make sure u cover ur tracks. Don't be a bad liar. If I ever find out that u lied to me, I probably won't flare up against u, but I will remember that once upon my life, u lied to me. And it will be hard to earn my trust again.
I sound like a total bitch. I could lie to everyone right now that I will forget that u lied to me before but that is a form of lying as well. And I am not about to sink to that level.
I was actually in a good mood today when this happened. Wanted to blog abt my BENJI SCHWIMMER, the guy who won So You Think You Can Dance 2. He's in singapore doing the dance floor finale and some workshops. ( I actually can't believe that mediacorp actually invited him and even more surprised when he agreed to appear!! That was the first time I ever watched The Dance Floor in full.) If u guys are interested, here are the details at this url:http://community.livejournal.com/sg_dancers/24901.html
A NITE WITH BENJI SCHWIMMER
Winner of "So You Think You Can Dance"
Date: 30th April 2007, Monday
Venue: Upper Club, CHIJMES
Time: 7.30 - 11.00 PM
Price: SG$120 (Inclusive of International Dinner Buffet)
SWAZZ (Swing Jazz)Benji Schwimmer's Dance Workshop
Date: 1st May 2007, Tuesday
Time: 2.00 - 3.30 PM (Swazz) / 4.00 - 5.30 PM (Swing)Price: SG$50 per session
Irene might be interested if she is reading this. Though it's not her type of dancing. But I sent her an sms anyway.
Trying to get Benji's flight information now...
Anyway, I found some of my secondary compo work that I had done way back in 2002. I re-read it again and can't believe I wrote such a compo before. I kinda wan to post it here a little cos it suits what I am feeling right now (in case u don't know, I am feeling LOST AND DESPERATE AND CONFUSED right now...) but I am typing this from memory cos I lazy to dig out that piece of paper. So here goes...
P.S. I was writing from a guy's perspective.
The day started as normal. Students gathered around the classroom corridors in the morning, waiting for the school day to start. I was standing along with my buddies, who were talking about the new things happening in our lives. But I was not paying attention to them. Instead, I was cranking my neck trying to look past my buddy's shoulder, waiting for it to happen. Finally, it did.
At first, it was just a small figure. But slowly, as she walked towards me, her delicate features, her easy smile and her beautiful piercing eyes became more distinct. On her way, she turned around and greeted her friends happily, with her high ponytail swaying gracefully sideways. One by one, she finally passed many people and reached my group of friends.
"Hey guys. Good morning," Mandy said. That was all I was waiting for each morning.
That's it. The beginning of the compo. I shall decide whether I want to release the entire compo out here on my blog. Anyway, the copyright of this composition belongs ENTIRELY to me!! You need to acknowledge if u want to use it... disclaimer here just in case there are people out there having weird ideas...
I know the compo sounds totally juvenile (but I still got a rather high score for this particular essay) but please remember that I was only 16 then. Not much of life experiences, plenty of imagination. Full of hope of what ur love life can be. As u can tell, my love life is zlich because I just can't be bothered right now. I used to think that u got to chase for the life u want. But this aspect of life does not fall in that category. It is more like 可遇不可求。
Wei Wei once told me that she believed that there is someone in the world for everyone. I guess she meant that u have to find that someone. But I remembered reading from somewhere that says that don't bother looking for that someone. If u find a person who u think u can love and live with the rest of ur life, stick to that person. U don't have to be crazily in love to live with a person forever. This makes me think that maybe some people who are taken are not with the person they should be. Based Wei Wei's theory, then there will be some people who can't find that special someone in their lives. So weiwei, how ar?
Don't bother if u don't understand. I am in a weird mood. Now I don't even know what I am feeling right now.
在深夜里
在深夜里，在静悄里，有谁和我一样，感到孤独，沮丧呢？
可能，在这深夜里，没有城市的喧闹，我找到了心中平静。
或许有一天，你能领悟到，我现在的感受
又或许有一天，你能理解出，我现在的心情
我只希望有一天，你能记得我
当初的我，
没烦恼的我 ,
开心快乐的我。
--范瑜芬献上
Feeling a little chinese poetic suddenly... just anyhow type out what I am feeling now. It's bad poetry anyway...
Cheerios. Will talk about Benji tml.
I don't understand. Why are u treating me this way? What have I done wrong? What's wrong with me? It's obvious that u are lying to me. So why are u lying to me? I rather u tell me the truth, that u don't want to be alone with me.
Don't give me empty promises. Don't let me do all the work and fill with hope just to be disappointed by u. Don't cook up some grandmother story just to get out of I asked u. If u are not willing, tell me. I would rather that. It's obvious that u are lying. That was bad lying. Unless u have a reason for what u do, don't try explaining to me.
I don't even know when u show ur concern to me, u are trying to make up ur mistake or really concerned about me.
Heck it, u are not reading this anyway. U don't care that much about me to read what I had got to say.
Everyone listen up. Lie to me all u want, but make sure u cover ur tracks. Don't be a bad liar. If I ever find out that u lied to me, I probably won't flare up against u, but I will remember that once upon my life, u lied to me. And it will be hard to earn my trust again.
I sound like a total bitch. I could lie to everyone right now that I will forget that u lied to me before but that is a form of lying as well. And I am not about to sink to that level.
I was actually in a good mood today when this happened. Wanted to blog abt my BENJI SCHWIMMER, the guy who won So You Think You Can Dance 2. He's in singapore doing the dance floor finale and some workshops. ( I actually can't believe that mediacorp actually invited him and even more surprised when he agreed to appear!! That was the first time I ever watched The Dance Floor in full.) If u guys are interested, here are the details at this url:http://community.livejournal.com/sg_dancers/24901.html
A NITE WITH BENJI SCHWIMMER
Winner of "So You Think You Can Dance"
Date: 30th April 2007, Monday
Venue: Upper Club, CHIJMES
Time: 7.30 - 11.00 PM
Price: SG$120 (Inclusive of International Dinner Buffet)
SWAZZ (Swing Jazz)Benji Schwimmer's Dance Workshop
Date: 1st May 2007, Tuesday
Time: 2.00 - 3.30 PM (Swazz) / 4.00 - 5.30 PM (Swing)Price: SG$50 per session
Irene might be interested if she is reading this. Though it's not her type of dancing. But I sent her an sms anyway.
Trying to get Benji's flight information now...
Anyway, I found some of my secondary compo work that I had done way back in 2002. I re-read it again and can't believe I wrote such a compo before. I kinda wan to post it here a little cos it suits what I am feeling right now (in case u don't know, I am feeling LOST AND DESPERATE AND CONFUSED right now...) but I am typing this from memory cos I lazy to dig out that piece of paper. So here goes...
P.S. I was writing from a guy's perspective.
The day started as normal. Students gathered around the classroom corridors in the morning, waiting for the school day to start. I was standing along with my buddies, who were talking about the new things happening in our lives. But I was not paying attention to them. Instead, I was cranking my neck trying to look past my buddy's shoulder, waiting for it to happen. Finally, it did.
At first, it was just a small figure. But slowly, as she walked towards me, her delicate features, her easy smile and her beautiful piercing eyes became more distinct. On her way, she turned around and greeted her friends happily, with her high ponytail swaying gracefully sideways. One by one, she finally passed many people and reached my group of friends.
"Hey guys. Good morning," Mandy said. That was all I was waiting for each morning.
That's it. The beginning of the compo. I shall decide whether I want to release the entire compo out here on my blog. Anyway, the copyright of this composition belongs ENTIRELY to me!! You need to acknowledge if u want to use it... disclaimer here just in case there are people out there having weird ideas...
I know the compo sounds totally juvenile (but I still got a rather high score for this particular essay) but please remember that I was only 16 then. Not much of life experiences, plenty of imagination. Full of hope of what ur love life can be. As u can tell, my love life is zlich because I just can't be bothered right now. I used to think that u got to chase for the life u want. But this aspect of life does not fall in that category. It is more like 可遇不可求。
Wei Wei once told me that she believed that there is someone in the world for everyone. I guess she meant that u have to find that someone. But I remembered reading from somewhere that says that don't bother looking for that someone. If u find a person who u think u can love and live with the rest of ur life, stick to that person. U don't have to be crazily in love to live with a person forever. This makes me think that maybe some people who are taken are not with the person they should be. Based Wei Wei's theory, then there will be some people who can't find that special someone in their lives. So weiwei, how ar?
Don't bother if u don't understand. I am in a weird mood. Now I don't even know what I am feeling right now.
在深夜里
在深夜里，在静悄里，有谁和我一样，感到孤独，沮丧呢？
可能，在这深夜里，没有城市的喧闹，我找到了心中平静。
或许有一天，你能领悟到，我现在的感受
又或许有一天，你能理解出，我现在的心情
我只希望有一天，你能记得我
当初的我，
没烦恼的我 ,
开心快乐的我。
--范瑜芬献上
Feeling a little chinese poetic suddenly... just anyhow type out what I am feeling now. It's bad poetry anyway...
Cheerios. Will talk about Benji tml.
