Shit me, I need to do my work but after reading Angeline's blog, I feel like blogging.

She was blogging about her r/s, and boy, how a relationship can make u grow up so fast.

A guy can change very fast. Most of us are not sure where are their lives heading to!!

It causes me to remember a guy who I fell into and out when I realise how much he changed.

DISCLAIMER: FOR THOSE WHO KNOWS WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT IN THE NEXT FEW SECTIONS, DON'T MENTION HIS NAME IN MY TAGBOARD OR COMMENTS PAGE...THANKS. Spare a little thought for him.... and me.

No matter how much he changed for the better, he was a changed person and the person I like was no longer there. It was then I realised that there was no point for me in holding on to him.

Boy, am I glad he changed!! I am leading a way better life.

My aunt (the one in China and is pregnant right now) was asking me the other time do I have a boyfriend and why I do not have one. I told her I was too ugly to attract anyone, and she said that she found me too immature at times to have a boyfriend.

I don't exactly disagree with her.

I admit, I wasn't the most mature person in the world. I don't act my age. I love being doted by my parents and acting like a baby in front of them. I whined. I throw tantrums. But if there is anyone who don't realise that I have a more mature alter ego inside me, the person doesn't know me.

I am not that immature. At least I don't think so. I just like to keep things young, stay young. I don't want to be acting too mature because it's just too tiring. What's wrong for being young and thinking young? In the midst of all the backstabbing and pressure, it's hard to think innocently and young.

After him, I set my standards high. It wasn't that high till it's crazy ok!! I know some of my friends joke that my boyfriend will have to be hairy, angmoh, handsome, rich, tall, nice back muscles blah blah blah. Of course, if I can ever find such a guy (except the hairy part), I am taking him home!! But most importantly, he must be someone who makes me admire him so much that I forget myself. Other factors such as chemistry, humor, what-the-hell are important, but if he has qualities (eg confidence) that totally captivate me, he got me.

And yah, I need a man who is manly. No wimps for me.

All these just reminds me of the palmist who read my palm 1 year ago. He hit the bull's eye when he told me what kind of guys I should look for.

Since coming into NUS, I was never fully attracted to anyone. A few may have caught my eye, some more than others, but never anyone who makes me forget myself and fall fully for. It's not easy to find someone like that, I know. But I learnt that a guy should be totally worth my time. I am taking my time. I don't want any Tom Dick or Harry at this point. I rather name all my future birds to be Tom Dick and Harry.

Maybe that's why I tend towards ang mohs. Most of the Asian guys I met are not assertive enough and I hope that the ang mohs are really like what they are on tv. I am not saying that if a guy is not ang moh he got no chance. I am just saying that if he doesn't know what to do with girls, he should just get out of my way.

In the first place, I think I scared guys away. My mum said that I am a masculine type of girl. Watch soccers and sports, speak her mind.... blah blah blah. Maybe it's so.

Or maybe it just boils down that I am ugly...

So yeah. This is my response to Angeline's post. I should get back to work.

Cheerios.

Labels: Confessions