Friday, June 20, 2008
Choices
Why don't some people understand that a lot of choices are made because we don't have a choice?
I don't know why, but I always have a defensive streak whenever someone questions me about my choice. Some people just don't understand how lucky they are. Nv thought about money and never worry about their futures because either 1. their families are rich 2. their parents can always back them up whenever they meet with problems. I especially hate those people who said something like "why not? all my friends did that also what" kind of thing whenever u said something like "I can't do that".
How many of us do what we do out of no choice? How many people stay in their jobs that they hate because they need to work to earn money for their family? How many people stay in Singapore to study because they can't afford overseas universities? How many people choose a course of study they don't like because that course gives them the best prospects for job hunting? How many people hang on to their marriages because of their children? Or maybe, something closer to our hearts, how many of us can't go for oversea exchange just because they can't afford it?
Don't question why I did what I did ok. I am trying to be responsible. I am glad that I was born into a very happy family, whereby my parents dote me like crazy and take me as their ζδΈζη . I am happy because I can talk to my parents normally every night without feeling awkward. I can joke with them, complain and whine all I like to them without feeling a tiny bit of childish. And I love them very much. However, I have ageing parents and no siblings at all, which means in the future the whole family depends on me. I am forced to accept the fact that that I am probably going to be facing the prospects of being parentless 20 years down the road when my peers could have about 30 years. And that scares the hell out of us. Now, to see my parents still working now, it kills me to know that the reason for that was because of me.
And whenever my mum said, "It's all for you", it breaks my heart.
This is my heartfelt feelings. I hope people who knows me can feel it after reading it. I am even crying just by typing the previous paragraph.
I am not trying to prove anything or complain about my life. I am just saying that those people who don't have to think about that I thought about should consider lucky. I understand that everyone has different worries, but still, I consider people who don't have to worry about money are very lucky.
I think for all that I just said, Irene would have understand. We have the same problems and worries about our futures, how we are doing to deal with out "debts", the burden of the family etc even thought hers is slight different from mine.
**I am not trying to blaming you. I am trying to say that when you said "Why not, all my friends...." a certain level of insensitivity was shown and it actually hurts me...
After typing all that, I don't even know what is my conclusion for this entry. Maybe this entry is just an outlet for me to talk about my feelings... =(
Picture link here.
I don't know why, but I always have a defensive streak whenever someone questions me about my choice. Some people just don't understand how lucky they are. Nv thought about money and never worry about their futures because either 1. their families are rich 2. their parents can always back them up whenever they meet with problems. I especially hate those people who said something like "why not? all my friends did that also what" kind of thing whenever u said something like "I can't do that".
How many of us do what we do out of no choice? How many people stay in their jobs that they hate because they need to work to earn money for their family? How many people stay in Singapore to study because they can't afford overseas universities? How many people choose a course of study they don't like because that course gives them the best prospects for job hunting? How many people hang on to their marriages because of their children? Or maybe, something closer to our hearts, how many of us can't go for oversea exchange just because they can't afford it?
Don't question why I did what I did ok. I am trying to be responsible. I am glad that I was born into a very happy family, whereby my parents dote me like crazy and take me as their ζδΈζη . I am happy because I can talk to my parents normally every night without feeling awkward. I can joke with them, complain and whine all I like to them without feeling a tiny bit of childish. And I love them very much. However, I have ageing parents and no siblings at all, which means in the future the whole family depends on me. I am forced to accept the fact that that I am probably going to be facing the prospects of being parentless 20 years down the road when my peers could have about 30 years. And that scares the hell out of us. Now, to see my parents still working now, it kills me to know that the reason for that was because of me.
And whenever my mum said, "It's all for you", it breaks my heart.
This is my heartfelt feelings. I hope people who knows me can feel it after reading it. I am even crying just by typing the previous paragraph.
I am not trying to prove anything or complain about my life. I am just saying that those people who don't have to think about that I thought about should consider lucky. I understand that everyone has different worries, but still, I consider people who don't have to worry about money are very lucky.
I think for all that I just said, Irene would have understand. We have the same problems and worries about our futures, how we are doing to deal with out "debts", the burden of the family etc even thought hers is slight different from mine.
**I am not trying to blaming you. I am trying to say that when you said "Why not, all my friends...." a certain level of insensitivity was shown and it actually hurts me...
After typing all that, I don't even know what is my conclusion for this entry. Maybe this entry is just an outlet for me to talk about my feelings... =(
Picture link here.
